You're not sure what is going on. You awake in a haze. For some reason you are lying with your head at the foot of your bed. Everyone is gone and the lights are dim. The movie is still playing on the TV screen.

Shit, you think, what time is it?

Wait. Something is out of place.

You notice that she is still here and she is lying next to you, in your bed. You can feel that she is breathing gently, fast asleep. Don't fuck this up idiot just be smooth. Your pretty damn tired as is so just put your arm around her and go back to sleep. Be wary of her belly button ring of course, it is still sensitive.

...

Now you can't sleep. Not to worry, you still are not sure how this happened. Just
go through the day one step at a time. It all started after lunch.

Everyone came over to watch a movie out in the lobby. You were pretty excited, you love whatever movie were going to watch and always want to share it with who ever is willing. So you plop your lazy ass down on the couch with the others. You sit with that stupid grin on your face that you get whenever you're doing something you enjoy. It ends and they want to continue to relax and watch another movie.

You comply with their requests because you really do not care. You are bored so whatever is good with you. You sit back and do some work while they enjoy. Well, you try and get work done, but they want cereal. Whatever, you aren't getting anything done anyway, so you might as well and put that unlimited meal plan to use and get some cereal. They question if you are serious but you are already on your way out.

So you get a box of cereal, and box as in to go box, and a cup of milk. You give them the box and some spoons and sit in a chair while they eat. They endlessly thank you because you are such a nice guy. You are not sure if you are, everyone says you are, but you just don't see it. You attempt to start working again, but you don't get much done.

Yeah you are getting nothing done so you go and throw the trash out as the movie wraps up. You get way too distracted by other people. Well now those other people want to go to dinner. Seems like a good idea, you need some food and you have time until the movie you are going out to see. So food, yay.

You get your plate of whatever does not look repulsive from the dining hall and take a seat next to her at the table with everyone else. You wonder about her. Of course you find her attractive, definitely in a physical manner, but on a personality level you are not so sure. Not that it really matters, you don't think she thinks of you in that way, you are just friends and you are fine with that. Friends are something you need right now you sad depresses idiot.

You just sit there and enjoy the company. Ever since moving here you have dreaded eating alone, but it had so rarely happened that you are not sure why. Even those few times were of your choosing. You laugh, you smile, you converse, you do normal meal time activities, whatever those are. Everything ends and now you are parting ways. Everyone has work to do before the movie.

Get your work done, you know that is what you have to do. Surprisingly you actually go and get work done. You don't meander. You don't daydream. You don't procrastinate. You get shit done. It is a pleasant change. Now you can go see the movie and not feel bad about it. You go and show up at their door and head down to meet the rest of them at the movie. You are made aware that she is going to show up later, since she is still getting work done.

You meet someone new. You make small talk while you wait for the movie. You explain why you don't like blowjobs, Again. You have no idea why that keeps coming up, but it does strangely. It is college after all. You really just want to watch the movie, you're not sure why, since you have already seen it and thought it was pretty good but nothing amazing. Well now you can get your wish, and oh look she showed up just in time.

After a brief confusion, she comes over and lies down in the grass next to you as the movie begins. This is the first time you have ever been to a movie outside in a pick nick like environment and so far it is pretty nice. Those thoughts enter your head again. You have to wonder if she does have any interest in you, since you want something from someone. Well all signs point to no.

It is fine, you don't really care. Something will come someday, you hope, and if not, well you will just continue being depressed and hating yourself. Luckily, this is providing a nice reprieve from the depression and hate. So just sit and enjoy the movie. That is exactly what you do, you enjoy the movie and then she offers to give everyone a ride back to the dorm.

Now you want to drink, the movie has inspired you. Damn, you are out of booze. But wait, what is that, she has booze and she will gladly share. You all also want to watch another movie, which is perfect in your mind. You stop by her room when you get back and pick up said booze, some whiskey for you and some rum for her.

Then you get back to your room. It is just the two of you for now. You set up the movie while she hops up onto your bed. You connect all the appropriate wires and assure that everything is ready.

"Why did you just hop into my bed?" you wonder honestly.

"You don't get the hint"

Oh shit, no you didn't. "Oh" you reply in understanding.

You hop up in bed beside her and the two of you look at each other awkwardly. You are incredibly confused, if there were signs before this, you had no clue, no fucking clue. You are happy, but confused and, shit everyone is here now.

Defeat temporarily. Shit happens and now it is time for another movie, but first whiskey. You open the 'baby' bottle of whiskey and take a sip. The golden delight slides down your throat and warms you from the inside out. You pass the bottle around and everyone else frowns in disgust after they take a tiny sip. More for you. You start the movie and lay down next to her. You both sit and enjoy the movie and the booze.

This is incredibly pleasant, you really don't care that you have class tomorrow this is just too enjoyable. You polish of the whiskey and make a mental note that you like whiskey and want more. The rum is handed off to everyone else, she had enough. The movie continues to your favorite scene. You have your laugh and notice that she has fallen asleep beside you. That actually sounds really nice right now.

...

Yeah it still doesn't really make sense in your head. Not that it matters, it is awesome. Well you are already in the position so it is back to sleep with you. You reach over and click the movie off first though.

...

Awake again. Shit what time is it. You don't really care, after all you only have one class tomorrow that you were probably going to sleep through anyway. Just relax, you will drift off to sleep eventually. Just enjoy the moment and relax.

"What happened to the movie?"

Or not. "I turned it off, we were both sleeping."

"Did it end?"

"No, but you missed the best part."

"Rewind it"

"Can't we just sleep?"

"Movie" she says as she gently wiggles back and forth.

"It's too big of a pain to start up again, let's just sleep."

"Give me a massage."

Any other time you would be thrilled to hear those words, but you really are tired. Even though just hearing them gave you a little burst of energy, sleep sounds so much better right now so you say, "I'm too tired, let's just sleep."

"Massage," and the wiggling continues.

You sigh, defeated because you don't feel like arguing and in the position you find yourself in, something nice could happen, "Fine."

You stretch, thinking it may somehow give you more energy, and get to work. Thumbs pressing down, you test a little to find the perfect amount of pressure and begin around the curve of shoulder blades. This isn't really working; she is wearing two shirts and a sports bra, so this is quite difficult. Might as well ask.

"Okay, if you want me to do this, you have to take off your top shirt."

Not surprisingly, she has no qualms against this and pulls the shirt off as soon as you finish asking and promptly lays back down. Well, now it is time to get back to it, so your hands return to her shoulder blades. Working slowly you move from the out, in, and down. Your thumbs line her spine, trying to get all of the tension out. You reach the end of her back and start again at the top. Time to switch it up, so you make fists and roll them into the tension spots in her back. You continue to alternate between the two methods, but you grow tired yet again. Well it is time to switch it up yet again, so you pull out an old standby.

You extend your thumb again. This time you turn it sideways and rest you nail at the top of her spine. The correct amount of pressure has long been stitched into your brain, so you apply said pressure and run you nail down the length of her spine; she shivers, the expected response but the good kind of response. You repeat this a few more times.

"What do you think of that?"

"It is really nice, just as nice as the massage so just keep doing this."

"Well what about this."

You grab her foot and slide you nail down the length of the bottom and she shivers intensely.

"That feels strange, kind of ticklish, kind of good."

You chuckle, amused with the response.

Wiggling, "keep going."

"No, sleep time."

The wiggling continues and damn are you weak. So of course you start again. After a few times, she decides to add, "try moving your finger side to side as you go up and down."

Holy shit, how have you never thought of that. That is brilliant, you wish you thought of that. Time to give it a try. You go to start, but have trouble with her shirt.

"If you want this you have to take off your shirt."

"Take off your shirt."

Yeah, you don't have any hang ups about taking off clothes so you whip it off.

"There it's off, so it is your turn."

"Take it off for me."

Heh, she doesn't have to say that twice. You slide it up, pulling from both sides. When you get it to her breasts, she sits up slightly and takes it off. Now you have to keep working, so you try the new method. You can tell from the 'vibe' she is giving that she loves it. You enjoy it as well, since it gives her such pleasure, yet requires little effort. Hell, you can do it while you lay down.

You are tired of doing this. You lay back down, just enjoying that someone is here.

"More." Wiggling. "More!" Wiggling. "Mo-shit!"

When she moved, she rubbed her belly button against the bed.

"That was dumb." You smile as she turns over.

"Shut up, it hurts," she looks at her sensitive stomach.

"Does it look red or raw?"

Inspecting closer, "no it looks just fine."

"Are you sure?"

Closer still, "yeah I'm sure."

You both remain lying on your backs. You gently trace a wide circle around her bellybutton. Then it happens, she starts talking. It is fascinating. You didn't expect this. You never knew if she was into you in a sexual way or in a friend way or what. Now she is confiding in you, she is going on about a previous relationship. You are seeing a whole new side of her; she isn't just a sex craving partier, she is in a way a lot like yourself, she is running from something and drowning herself in something else.

"Are you drunk?"

You're not, you never have been. You are a little tipsy still, but barely. "Yeah."

Without pause, she continues, elaborating on her life. It intrigues you. You never saw her as some one who was just as fucked up as you were. It makes you briefly wonder is you could actually pursue a relationship with her, but you just don't see it going anywhere. This of course still makes you think of Her, because it seems that it is impossible for you to go a day without thinking of Her. Just ignore it for now, focus on her, since she is the one lying next to you.

You make occasional comments, when appropriate, but you are not sure what exactly to say. It seems that she is telling you her life story, but is this out of sincerity or did that little bit of alcohol really get to her. You may be able to drink like a tank, but maybe she is a light weight. The story is coming to an end.

"We need some more booze."

"We do, but we drank it all and it is too late to call my friend."

"You have a friend to get booze for you?"

"Yeah his name is J-, he is in my Government class and my writing class."

"Call him."

You laugh, "it's too late."

"Damn."

You sit in silence for a few minutes, then your roommate walks in.

"Oh shit, sorry," he exclaims before stumbling around.

"J-?" she asks.

"No, that's N-, my roommate."

"I'll just leave you guys alone."

"It's fine, we weren't doing anything anyway," of course you say this, all the while there is a girl laying next to you in her bra and pants.

"It's cool, I was just getting my computer and leaving."

"Did you ever get a light or some cigarettes?"

"Yeah I did."

"Wait," she is confused, "you smoke."

"No, I just wanted to tonight, but now my fingers smell like shit."

"I want to smell."

That makes you laugh. He lets her smell his finger.

"It does smell like shit."

"Well I'll leave you alone now," he says and he locks the door on his way out.

No words now, just wiggling.

"If I am going to do anything, let's switch to the other end of the bed."

"Why?"

"Because we are laying at the foot of the bed and I would prefer to lay there."

"That's fine."

"Thank you."

"Just to let you know, I am too tired to do anything tonight."

"That is fine with me."

It is fine with you, after all you didn't expect anything to happen in the first place, so if it goes no further you can just be pleased that it got this far. You both readjust yourself and you get to the massaging again. You can find your mind clear. All you can think about is what is happening now. Usually that is because of the alcohol, but that has had to have worn off by now. You drank so little as is, and with your brief nap-hold that thought.

"Be right back, have to pee."

You relieve yourself and wash your hands, then you hop right back into bed and get back to work. As you were thinking, there is no way that alcohol has any hold over your mind right now. The math just isn't there. You stop massaging. The wiggling commences. You playfully complain. The wiggling keeps happening. You start massaging again. This happens a few times.

You decide to take a break for real this time and she rolls over onto her back. You look at her stomach again and assure her that it is not red and or bleeding. You talk to her, about pointless, meaning less things. Complaints about how she is teased for always wearing sports bras, sex in general, hatred of people, normal discussion topics.

"Do you have an extra contact case?"

"Uh, I think I do actually."

You look frantically for your extra case. While you do, you fill your contact case with solution and give it to her. You continue looking while she puts her contacts in your case. This isn't getting anywhere. You clearly left your other contact case at home, looks like you are sleeping in your contacts tonight.

You decide that it is time to move things along a bit. As the conversation swings towards sex, you playfully poke her. Not that you haven't been poking her. The occasional poke to that ticklish spot in the side that everyone has is just one of those unspoken things that everyone does. No you don't do that, you man it up this time and 'cop a feel.' Now you are really enjoying yourself.

"You are such a perv."

"I don't think you have any right calling me a perv."

"That's true, but you are still a perv."

"You know you like it."

That makes her laugh, which make you want to tickle her. You poke those ticklish spots, her sides, under her arms, her feet, all while being wary of her stomach. This has gotten her going.

"Are you drunk?"

Why does she keep asking that? Well, be honest this time, "no I think it has worn off by now."

"Good, that makes you responsible for me."

Is that supposed to make you feel good? It worries you, what does that mean? Does it mean that if you have sex with her, you should feel terrible? Does it mean that you should do everything in your power to make sure she is okay? Is it some strange in between? You have no idea.

Well you continue doing what you were doing first. You go back to feeling her up and trying to turn her on. You caress her breasts. You tease her. You reach down and grab her ass.

"Damn son."

You smile and continue. It seems like she has gotten a sudden burst of energy.

"Let's dance."

"What, when?"

"Now."

"Are you serious, it's two in the morning."

"I want to dance."

"No it's too late."

"Dance," and more wiggling.

This continues for a few minutes.

"Okay, fine we can dance."

"We need music."

"Well what type of dance do you want to do?"

"Salsa."

"Yeah I don't have any salsa music."

"Go on youtube."

You sigh, "fine."

You are out of bed now and logging back on to your computer. After some quick searching you find a song and put it on. Immediately, she gets into it.

"Come and dance with me."

"Too tired."

"Come on."

No is really not an option. You still have an erection from just laying with her in bed, you are tired, and you really just don't want to dance at two in the morning. That isn't stopping her, she is over there gyrating her hips and belly dancing.

"Dance with me, don't you know how to salsa?"

"Of course I know how to salsa, you know I know how to salsa, but you are not even doing the salsa, so."

The song ends.

"Okay, that's enough, bed time."

"No, more dancing."

After a quick search, she puts on another song and comes over to you. Now she really is not doing the salsa, she is just grinding her ass against your crotch. That's not enough though, she pushes you against your roommates bed so she can really get in there and put some pressure into her grind. You wonder what the fuck you got yourself into. This continues for a few minutes.

"Come on, stop."

"No, actually go over to the bathroom door."

You don't really care, so you comply. You probably shouldn't have, since she just closes it and pushes you into it and really gets going. You just keep trying to deal with that raging erection in you pants while she is going to town grinding her ass against it. You can see yourself and her in the mirror.

This is really fucking awesome. You are really excited about what is going on. Yes you want to sleep, but this is so much better.

"Okay, you really need to stop, this just isn't fair."

"No."

"Damn how long is this song."

"Long enough."

"Come on, you are just exacerbating the situation."

"What?"

"You're making it worse."

"I know."

"Seriously, I may have to do something."

"Oh yeah?"

You wonder what exactly you are going to do. You could go strait for the kill, but would that turn her off? Would anything less turn her off? You have no fucking idea what you need to do so you can fuck her tonight. You go for it. First you grab her ass with both hands.

"Damn."

You don't stop there, you slide your hands around into that spot. You feel around a bit, trying to pinpoint just where you think the clitoris should be, then you start your payback. Then you stop. You wonder whether you just went too far. All this being a nice guy really has gotten in the way of you getting some.

"Okay that's enough, shit." You shuffle around, your erection is quite uncomfortable. "How long was that song?"

You go and look while she gets back into bed.

"No wonder, that song is half an hour total, and we got through twenty minutes of it."

"Yeah."

Shit, she sounds a bit dejected. You probably should fix that. You get into bed and give her another massage. After, she rolls over to check her stomach again. You lie next to her. You know what you need to do, though why you waited this long is a mystery. You lean over while she just lies there and kiss her. You don't just fuck around this time though, you go full force, you do the thing She taught you. Fuck, you aren't supposed to think about Her.

You suck on her lower lip, while applying a bit of pressure from your teeth. You can feel her trembling and really getting into it.

"Damn son."

You smile and got back in. Periodically she grabs you and pulls you in close. Somehow you have ended up in the missionary position. You continue kissing her. You're not sure how long this lasts. It just keeps going. With the position you're in, maybe it is time for some real payback. Grinding drove Her nuts, hopefully it will work on her as well.

You are shaking. It was a great idea to do all of this, especially since you have been up since seven in the morning and went to the gym today, which explains why your triceps are so sore and causing you to shake. You start to go at it, but it is really awkward to both kiss her and grind, but you try regardless.

Fuck!

Oh shit that hurts. Good job genius, it's not like you haven't done this before. Sure that erection is awkward and makes this a bit difficult, but you don't have to go and poke her with it. Especially when you didn't mean to. You roll over, wincing from the pain shooting up and down your dick.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just, shit, ow that hurt. I'm okay, it's fine."

You 'saddle up' again and just return to kissing.

"I'm really proud of myself."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I've been drinking and I am surprised that I still have my clothes on. I am proud of myself for that."

Fuck.

Yeah you are not getting fucked tonight.

What are you supposed to come back with after that? Talk about a turn off. Now you really have no idea what you should do next. Talk about hitting a brick wall. Well you really only have one thing you can do, you just continue kissing her. Really going at it.

"Damn son."

Fuck this, you are not stopping here. Well actually you are, but you are not going to let her know that until you are done.

"Damn son."

Exactly.

"Damn."

You look at the clock. Shit, it's three thirty already. You have class in six hours and you love sleep. Well you think it is about time to wrap things up.

"I think I'm ready to sleep, what about you?"

"That's fine."

Not the best response, but what can you do. You cuddle up with her and within minutes, she was asleep. You follow shortly after.

...

Something is beeping. Why is it beeping, fuck that's annoying. What is it? You open your eyes to see what it is. It is her watch. Since when was she wearing a watch?

"Class?"

"Yeah."

You sit up and hop out of bed. You look around and help her gather her clothes and various things. You wonder if you should kiss her goodbye. You should, but you don't. You give her a hug and walk her out. You are just too ecstatic that you slept with a girl. You always wanted to just sleep with a girl, but you never had the chance until now. So you just ride the high.

Thought you eyes do feel like shit. This is why you don't sleep in your contacts. Damn that feels strange, oh well.

You still have two hours until class, so you wander back to your bed and go back to sleep.

...

Fuck, now you know this beeping. Fuck this. You hit the snooze button.

...

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. You just want to sleep. You check the time. Fuck, class starts in three minutes. Good thing it is just down stairs. You turn off the alarm, slip sandals on, and go to class.

You try and stay awake, but you did not get enough sleep.

...

Well class is over and you learned nothing. Your next class was cancelled for today, which is perfect. You go back to your room, take your contacts out, and go back to sleep.

...

Okay, enough sleeping. What time is it? One thirty, great. You haven't missed anything and you feel great. What happens afterwards can be summarized very quickly.

You did fuck up. You really should have moved faster and harder. You should have been decisive. You rode your high for the rest of the day, bragging to a few people how you stayed up until three thirty with her. You didn't give them details, instead allowing them to imagine what you did based on lies you told them before.

That isn't just it though. You wanted to fuck her and you didn't want to fuck her with a bit more emphasis on not. You know she is a dirty dirty whore. Well not so much a whore as a crazy nympho. It didn't feel right, though you really wanted to do it. It is incredibly confusing.

You don't really hear from her. You try, but she is busy. You are not sure if she is really busy, beyond the mass amount of shit you know she does, or if she is just avoiding you. You don't know and it makes you feel like shit.

Then you realize you don't care. You didn't expect anything to happen and something did. Now it is probably over, but you don't care. If she wants to talk to you more, she can make the effort to do so. Then during a moment of depression, you text her. The reply and following brief conversation was very disconnected. After that you don't talk to her. The number is in her phone if she wants to dial it.

You later realize that she was just avoiding you. It made you feel bad for a brief moment, then you realized that you truly don't care. While she continued her nympho ways, you went on with your life. You hear from her and you don't. You don't do anything with her though, even if the opportunity presented itself you, well you probably would though you would feel like shit. It is a conundrum. Whatever.