-Yes my blog is back, yay for me not caring.

I sit here writing this, as both a way to delay doing actual work/studying and as a way to calm my brain. I probably should have been doing this for some time now, this document is entitled blog post 7 and was last edited on August 29th, so I have been a bit behind. It's not for lack of trying, or, well it kind of is. I just can't concentrate, not on this not on anything.

Ever since that day. Remember Remember the 9th of September. I just remain lost in myself. It's quite entertaining though. I wish I could observe my mind without actually living with it. As of late, I have been finding my grip on reality slowly slipping. It's fascinating to see your mind dissolve the barrier between reality and fantasy. It can be quite confusing at time though.

Even now, the only way I can write this is by blasting music into my ears. It help drown out the thoughts. Currently Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy is bouncing around my brain. It's not an ideal method, but whatever it works. Oh now it's Start Something by Lost Prophets, also not particularly 'good' music, but I kind of like the way shitty music resonates off of my skull, it is a pleasant painkiller.

I have so say if I have learned anything from University, it's that my greatest fear is someone walking in on me masturbating. I don't know why, it's not like it is something that almost everyone does. I just cannot stand the idea of someone seeing me do it. Perhaps it is because it is my private 'me' time. Who knows.

I am hoping that I can find a solution to my mental problems soon. I stopped drinking all together now, after what has happened the past couple of times I don't think I can ever look at alcohol the same way. Touchdown Turnaround by Hellogoodbye. I suppose it is a good thing, but I will miss the glorious kiss it would provide. That and that amazing warming sensation. Improvement requires sacrifice right?

So yeah, this is the new format of my blog. Just me puking words onto a page. A nice unedited stream of bile. Right Round by Flo Rida. I think I like this better. Much better than trying to carefully calculate an argument. If you don't think so, well fuck you I don't care. I mean I don't really care about anything, but your opinion is right down there with sympathy for pedophiles. It's not like I can force you to read it.