I wanted to start this out by saying that I am going to utilize my blog for what it is actually for, blogging. I am not going to promise anything, but I can say that from now on I hope to have one non podcast thing posted a week, regardless of who it is from. From now on this page will be used to blog on and my other things will be posted elsewhere. Keep checking the Fuck You tab for my writing project updates and the Writings tab for my other writings.

I have been thinking a lot lately. Honestly what pushed me over the edge was Last Call's piece. While he may be someone who can hide his feelings behind walls, not to say that I do not as well, but I do not hide my feelings from myself either. While I usually pour them out and shape them into vague writings, I do not try to rid myself of them. Last Call, I know you are reading this and I know you are just kidding yourself. Heh.

Regardless of what he thinks, I have reached a conclusion myself. I too believe that I have found that one person. Unfortunately, I too seem to find myself in a situation that makes it impossible to be with that person. Last Call and I have been bonding over this fact, but it does not change that the core concept is simple terrible.

Not sure of what I am going to do now. I will continue to write, I am on spring break this week and I left all my distractions so that I could work so I will actually get some work done. Beyond that, I will continue to float on. Life is an enigma wrapped in a conundrum and I will continue to try and unravel the mystery. Perhaps I will go from some coffee...

I am not sure what you are to me.

You confuse me. You have me in awe. You scare me. You dazzle me. You are one of the best people I have ever met. You are hurt and that hurts me. I want nothing more than for you to be truly happy and I wish I could be the one to make you so.

I am not sure of my feelings for you. You stir up something within me that I have not felt before. I cannot stop thinking about you, regardless of how much I try. When you ignore me, disregard me, forget about me, it pains me, but it does not deter me.

When I say I wish you were here, I actually mean it. There are not many people in this world I actually care about, but you are one of them. A simple smile upon you beautiful face is priceless. Around you I feel at ease, comfortable.

The hormones raging within me say I want nothing more than to fuck your brains out, but around you those feelings dissipate. I am satisfied simply lying by your side, drinking in your presence. Time and Space forbid us from being together.

I do not know how you feel. If you were to reciprocate my feelings I would be the happiest person alive. Sadly I cannot know how you feel. All I have is photographs and memories, pleasant thoughts of you.

I love you.

Whatever was wrong with the downloads is fixed. We are also recording a new episode this week, sorry for the delay.